I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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