that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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