What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
please come you make the beer taste better
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
