why didn't you poke me back
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
