I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
