i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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