Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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