call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
