we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
