Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
