either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
