My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
