you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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