Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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