she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
