She's JV to your varsity
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
