We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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