Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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