Do you still have your period?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
MIDGETS
????
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
