goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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