YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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