it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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