Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
