nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
