I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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