Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
