I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
