from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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