so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
