Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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