I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
