This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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