Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
