that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
