She's JV to your varsity
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
