just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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