Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
