I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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