Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
