I'm laying in your front yard are you home
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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