Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
