This is not my ceiling
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
