I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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