you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
