So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Screwed.edu
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
