Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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