Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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