You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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