I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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