I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
