you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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