I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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