pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
