thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize