Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you would pick up someone in the library
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
