He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
