Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
