Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We were destined to go to rehab together
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
