even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
