I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
