He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize