I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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