everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
