i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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