Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
