If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
