I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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